Polyprint Watercolor, ~liz
I know what it means to live a
relatively safe and predictable life. I have worked full time since beginning
my nursing career in 1977. I have served at our home health ministry
for over 20 years. I have shown up and tried to be there for those in need.
I've held responsible positions because I
was willing to give my all. My anxiety was such that I was
relentless in my quest to achieve the best.
I did not know the meaning of balance.
Looking back, I have regrets related to the personal
cost to my children and to me. Sure, they had their dad and grandma Wessel but often they
did not have me.
Even so, family was paramount
to me. On weekends we were together for outings at the park with friends.Weekly gatherings for Sunday dinners were central in our lives. Our home was open to kids in the neighborhood as I enjoyed having our boys close and knowing they were safe.
Each year we ventured across country until my boys reached adulthood. It was important for them to know their
grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I wanted to create good memories.
Lee moved to S. Dakota and has a family of his own now. John will
graduate soon; fly off, perhaps to spend a year in S. Korea.
Now, I understand the meaning of a balanced work life.
I've lived a patterned illusion of safety for some time. Yet, as time passes, life's waves crash in on us, taking back, leaving remnants and loss on her shore. She awakens us from complacency to experience the precious gift of each day. To feel the exhilaration of being alive amid the ebb and flow of all that is.
Life is change. Change sweeps through us in unexpected ways. I realize that my soul has been patiently awaiting for a window to open. Awaiting a day when I might be
astonished by an unexpected turn of the page. To hear myself say, “I never could
have imagined…”
Suddenly, I find my life shifting, stretching with new movement. My routines are unsettled and in a state of flux, my arms are loosening their grip on the familiar. It
is a bit overwhelming, exciting, somewhat scary and definitely interesting. I feel a lightening up as predictable gives way to challenge and possibility.
Our Healthcare environment is
continually imposing change upon us. Our natural tendency is to resist and to
cling to our familiar ways of being. If we are not careful, we can become
cynical and unyielding amid the chaos. Chaos can cause discomfort but also herald new life. A
chance to dream creatively, to envision what might be.
Erie instills in us his wise counsel; reminding us we only have two choices. He encourages us to live love, not
fear. The voice of self-doubt whispers to me. I hear the stories it wants me
to believe but then I remember to turn towards Love's light, only to find You ever near.
~Liz Sorensen Wessel
Journal of Sacred Work 
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