Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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   This will be a strange Thanksgiving for a family dear to my wife and me. On November 19, my friend Stephanie, only fifty-three years old, passed away after a year-long encounter with a cancer that attacked her brain (I hate to refer to cancer as a "battle" since when the afflicted die, it then becomes a "loss" – as if cancer had somehow won some kind of victory.)

   How will Stephanie's husband and daughter experience today's holiday? What memories will fill the hearts of her two younger sisters and her younger brother, none of whom have known life without her. What about her parents and friends?

   Whenever we lose someone we love, the texture of each holiday changes, doesn't it? We begin to recognize things we loved in the departed that we may not have appreciated during their lives.

   I wrote a remembrance for my friend that I share with you in hopes it will be universal enough to speak to you as well. It is called "Falling Away" because that is how we may feel about those who die from this earth.

Falling Away

Across the forest, leaves descend to the bed of their birth. Thinking you were evergreen, we search the woods confused to find you missing, our calls unanswered.

Who stole your laughter? Where is your bright intelligence?

Finally, we discover you in a hidden glen walking the moonlit path of our memory.

Strange how your strong voice can no longer form a word or bristle at the thorns of injustice.

Stranger still how you can no longer untie life’s problems for us with your skillful hands.

Hard to know our eyes cannot find your familiar face sitting across a table or by our side.

Harder still that your arms can no longer enfold us,  

Time for us to listen amid the windless woods, hear how we knew you, know that no pain can sear you any longer.

Time for us to remember that all leaves leave, that all stars fall, that you have exchanged the breath of the world for the sweet whispers of eternity.

Time for us to gather for a glad goodbye, to celebrate the truth that Love wraps you now & always in her precious embrace.

-Reverend Erie Chapman

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4 responses to “Days 331-332 – A Different Thanksgiving”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thank you for sharing these tender loving expressions with us. I am sorry for the loss of one so dear. It helps to acknowledge that in the joy of gathering, there are those who are not able to sit at table along beside us, and we miss them, and we feel the pangs of loss. Yet, we also feel the warm embrace of Love, comforted by the thought that they wish the best for us. When we experience loss, it brings us to a new simplicity and a deeper joy for what is important in our lives. We are ever mindful to cherish all those we love.
    I recently heard Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks interviewed by Krista Tippit on her show (Being.com, The Dalai Lama on Pursuing Happiness, 10/28/2010. Rabbi Sacks responded to a question about suffering in context of the fragility of life. He shared this beautiful thought, which I wish to share with you in hopes that you will receive it’s blessing. “And Jacob says something very profound to the angel. He says, ‘I will not let you go until you bless me.’ And that I feel about suffering. When something bad happens, I will not let go of that bad thing until I have discovered the blessing that lies within it.”

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  2. Marily Avatar

    For making us sensitive caring creatures, I thank the Lord. In this way we are a comfort for each other. And in times of suffering may we always welcome the blessing that we can obtain from it. Thank you Rev. Erie and Liz.

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  3. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    Blessings to you Erie, on the loss of your friend and to all of us who have lost someone dear to us.

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  4. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    Blessings to you, Erie, on the loss of your sweet friend…and to all of us who have lost someone dear to us.

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