Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

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Days 361-363 – Beauty: The Unfilled Gap

December 27, 2010

"Nothing can fill the gap/ When we are away from those we love and it would be/ Wrong to try to find anything/ Since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bond between/ Us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap./ He does not fill it but keeps it empty, so that our communion/ With another may be kept alive even at the cost of pain." – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letter & Papers from Prison

As I write you, I am in a city swept by a blizzard. This Boston blizzard means "white-outs" - the phenomenon where weather interferes with the ability to see more than a few feet.

Out of doors, we are isolated in such conditions. Our relationship to the rest of the world is cut shallow.

Often, I find comfort in walking through falling snow if I am dressed for it. Boots and a winter coat make me feel wrapped in the storm rather than punished by it.

But, what coat protects our souls from our winters of despair? What fills the gap of being separated from those we love and from Love itself?

If we, and those we care for, can remain strong through these empty seasons - the times of agony when God holds us in the hard territory of "empty" - we may finally find the greatest beauty life can offer.

What is this "gap?" It is the space between physical gratification and spiritual fulfillment.

Some WWII concentration camp victims experienced a strange joy at the very bottom of physical need. Deprived of everything the world offered, they crossed the gap and, like Job, discovered God.

Sadly, an increasing number of Americans, in the midst of worldly health and wealth, decide they don't need God. They only seem to discover God, if at all, when they are tossed into despair.

God is not here to meet our physical appetites. God's Love waits to fill our hearts only when we surrender our fixation on worldly fulfillment.

I heard this wisdom from my friend Rhonda Swanson who, in the depths of suffering during treatment for two different kinds of cancer, said, "Erie, down here, it's only me and God. No one else is with me in this awful emptiness."

Caregivers live next to suffering. You, as a caregiver, seek to relieve suffering. You also know that morphine cannot heal despair.

Shortly before he was executed by the Nazis, theologian Dietrich Bonhoffer lived moments of isolation where only God could help. Facing death, Bonhoffer came to understand why Jesus cried from the cross "God, why hast thou forsaken me?" For awhile, God left the gap empty for before granting Jesus eternal heaven.

It's so hard to wait for God when despair lies heavy. It is so difficult to know that on the other side of the unfilled gap lies Beauty.

As John O'Donohue writes: "Beauty shines with a light from beyond itself. Love is the name of that light."

-Reverend Erie Chapman

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8 responses to “Days 361-363 – Beauty: The Unfilled Gap”

Victoria Facey

December 27, 2010

What a painful rememberence of those who reach out to God only when they are at their lowest, or in desparation. At this time, some in the world are miserable because of what they lack and need. Others are aloof because they have much to occupy them and don’t forsee any needs or lacking. Then there are those who are content with who they are and where life is with them. Within all of these groups, God is in their lives, but they need to belong to Him.

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~liz Wessel

December 27, 2010

Thank you, Erie for gracing us with the beauty of your written word and Bonhoffer’s poem. I had not experienced his touching words nor known of his story before this day. I appreciate that you bring our attention towards the emptiness that lies just beneath the surface; if only we are still long enough…to experience this humbling unknowing. In the cold depth of despair may we find comfort in fellowship as we are wrapped in the warm coat of Love’s remembrance.

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xavier espinosa

December 28, 2010

A child suffering with depression once said “I have a hole in my heart, it is the shape of me” So many times we seek to relieve the emptiness that overwhelms us with the palliative cures that are too easily available, I have known may people who have great wealth, some of them who have become friends have demonstrated that the accouterments of having money are secondary to having great love for themselves, for others, for me. They exist in a state of divine benevolence- giving because they have, but more importantly loving because they can do it freely and can afford it because they love themselves. Others I have known dole out gifts but each comes with a price tag- “If I give you this, you must continually prove to me that you love me-because in amassing my fortune- I have paid dearly with myself” Likewise I know many others who who lack the comfort that comes with fortune, yet they live in a constant state of blissful beauty because they understand themselves and know that only by loving themselves well, they have unlimited amounts of love to give away. Many, like me, want to bask in the beauty of their warm glow. Loving ourselves is what warms us when we find ourselves in the frigid climate of desperate times.
Byron Katie. one of my great teachers and sources of inspiration says “Love What Is”. It is not an easy thing to do when we seek answers and reasons for our unhappiness outside of ourselves and mask the symptoms with out curing the source. The remedy lies within us, and like the Great Wizard of Oz told young Dorothy when she found out that returning to Kansas was always just a click away. “You had it (the answer) with you all the time” For those who wander aimlessly in the freezing, sharp pain of loneliness and self doubt, I hope that they end their search for the missing piece to their heart by forgiving, understanding and loving themselves; maybe then they can they can do what the Native Americans have wished for those they love and “Walk In Beauty”.

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candace nagle

December 28, 2010

We are afraid of falling into that gap and disappearing… So we fill it with whatever we can; food, drugs, television, fast cars, shopping. Ironically, trying to fill the gap, trying to avoid our suffering is the true threat to our existence. Courage and faith are a practice. If we practice ‘loving what is’ with the little sufferings then, when the big chasms appear, threatening to annihilate all purpose, meaning, and self, we will be more able to say “Today is a good day to die.”

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Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales

December 28, 2010

Thank you Erie for sharing…I feel like I now have permission to not feel obligated to always filling the gaps in my life.

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Marily

December 28, 2010

“If we, and those we care for, can remain strong through these empty seasons – the times of agony when God holds us in the hard territory of “empty” – we may finally find the greatest beauty life can offer”.
Yesterday I was asking why is it that God doesn’t fill the gap? It was only today when I woke up that I understood what it really meant. When my father passed away long time ago, He wasn’t filling up the empty space my dad had created in my heart. He was holding me strong in that hard territory of “empty”, showing me how to trust in Him setting my life’s agenda. He wants my father’s love for me, for my siblings and for our mother remembered, it will continue to live on.
This must also be why they say, “it is better to have loved and lost than never to have love at all”. Be strong my heart, I know whose holding you in every empty space created, have no fear, just trust and love more as you discover life’s greatest beauty can offer.

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~liz Wessel

December 28, 2010

The Snow Storm
by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,
Arrives the snow, and, driving o’er the fields,
Seems nowhere to alight: the whited air
Hides hills and woods, the river, and the heaven,
And veils the farmhouse at the garden’s end.
The sled and traveler stopped, the courier’s feet
Delayed, all friends shut out, the housemates sit
Around the radiant fireplace, enclosed
In a tumultuous privacy of storm.

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Maria Doglio

December 28, 2010

I think if we stay still long enough, that which we perceive as “empty” is really quite full!
Snow storms, ice, cold windy raining downpourings; cities paralized, flights canceled–all around the globe. Mother Nature seems to be forcing us all to stop, be still, and wait–spend some time within this gap of stoppage in our daily routines. We don’t do that so well in these days of instant technology. We always have to fill those gaps with something. The older I get, it seems that the quiet of the spaces in my life is blissful peace, and very rich in substance. It’s where I think and create and dream. I listen to the music of the rain falling against the house and think of blizzards when I lived in Vermont. I am almost nostalgic for the snowstorm. Vermonter’s are a crazy lot–they love to be out in the storm, dancing about the whirling snow and wind–how often did we do that with great joy just to feel the weather or ski across the meadow with snow flakes tickling our faces! Snow can be a joy or it can be a punishment–depends on our perception at the moment. But really, snow is just snow. It’s our reaction to it that either exalts us or punishes us.
I wonder sometimes if we really must do all this suffering just to reach God. I believe not always, because God is always present within us and all around–we just forget. Another matter of perception. I believe we set up our lessons within suffering with great courage so we learn them well in this life time, lest they have to be repeated. Caregivers are the human angels who see us through our personal storms. Blessings to all the caregivers.
Thank you Erie, for the opportunity of having my rambling commentaries appear here. You always present wonderful contemplations for filling gaps. Happy New Year!

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