"Sometimes we try to hold on to things that God himself is trying to tear apart." (shared by Xavier Espinosa)
Rest in God, Mandala by ~liz
Rev. Erie Chapman recently highlighted this quote by, W.A. Mathieu, "I think we basically have two fears, death and our deep selves" (Jan. 21st Journal essay).
My friend Claudia once told me, “Liz, it is not death that I fear; it is my loss of independence.” I must admit that the thought of losing my independence is scarier to me than dying is, as well. At least this is how I feel as I conceptualize but I can't be certain how I will react in the moment.
“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”-Woody Allen
Throughout life, we experience many little deaths along the way, whether saying goodbye to a friend, losing a beloved pet, the death of a love relationship, a sought after dream, a job that defined us…and so on. These poignant life situations give us an opportunity to practice “letting go” as we feel the pain of loss. It seems that only Grace can prepare us for the ultimate letting go of our lives here on earth.
" I can't die, it would ruin my image." Jack LaLane
The most challenging aspect of loss is the agonizing pain that accompanies it. The deep emotional ache within our heart is not easy to bear. It is hard to move about in our day-to-day activities when our core is contracting in on itself. Fortunately, we are resilient and with time are likely to heal. However painful, when our heart breaks a space opens for unforeseen possibilities to unfold. Yet, before we can let go and move on, closure is necessary. This is why it is important to complete unfinished business, which may involve speaking one’s truth rather than leaving situations between people unresolved.
“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” –Woody Allen
As caregivers to one another, we may get the rare privilege of accompanying others through the journey of leave taking. We may bear witness to the inner struggles as well as the tremendous valor people show when faced with great difficulty. If we risk opening our hearts to another person’s burden, we too experience the “ugliness” of pain. Yet, we also discover that whether giving or receiving; both persons are equally blessed by the alchemy of the encounter.
It seems to me that the struggle to resist change or the “letting go” is subconsciously rooted in a fear of death. Gosh, if I can just grab a branch and hold on for dear life, I might avoid being swept away by the raging current into the abyss of the unknown. Maybe it is a fear of abandonment, or both.
I continually seek to understand my purpose here. I recognize my interconnectedness with all of life. We are continually evolving and God is creating a miraculous open-ended symphony. We can choose to live in ways that will benefit all of humanity, or not. It begins with a thought, and every thought that we embrace. In some ways this growing awareness helps to diminish my fear. Although my (ego-based unthinkable of unthinkable), personage of Liz is only here for a short time…my essence from which I (and thee) were born and to whom we belong is a beautiful unending source of Love. Even when we are hurting, it helps to remember that when a person lashes out at us; it is but a call for Love.
I offered a prayer and then randomly opened to a page in “A Course of Miracles,” workbook. Here is an excerpt from lesson 109.
“I rest in God”
“We ask for rest today, and quietness unshaken by the world’s appearances. We ask for peace and stillness, in the midst of all the turmoil born of clashing dreams. We ask for safety and for happiness, although we seem to look on danger and on sorrow. And we have the thought that will answer our asking with what we request.
“I rest in God.” This thought will bring to you the rest and quiet, peace and stillness, and the safety and the happiness you seek. “I rest in God.” This thought has power to wake the sleeping truth in you, whose vision sees beyond appearances to that same truth in everyone and everything there is. Here is the end of suffering for all the world, and everyone who ever came and yet will come to linger for a while.
I rest in God.” Completely undismayed this thought will carry you through storms and strife, past misery and pain, past loss and death, and onward to the certainty of God. There is no suffering it cannot heal. There is no problem, which it cannot solve. And no appearance but will turn to truth before the eyes of you who rest in God. In Him you have no cares and no concerns, no burdens, no anxiety, no pain, no fear of future and no past regrets.
Each hour that you take your rest today a tired mind is suddenly made glad, a bird with broken wings begins to sing, a stream long dry begins to flow again. The world is born again each time you rest, and hourly remember that you came to bring the peace of God into the world, that it might take its rest along with you.
We rest together here, for thus our rest is made complete, and what we give today we have received already. Time is not the guardian of what we give today. We give to those unborn and those passed by, to every Thought of God, and to the Mind in which these Thoughts were born and where they rest. And we remind them of their resting place each time we tell ourselves;
“I rest in God.”
~liz Sorensen Wessel
Journal of Sacred Work 
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