Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

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Days 73-75 – Honoring The Faintest Voice

March 14, 2011

Bev Smith was an administrative intern at Riverside Methodist Hospital during the time I was President and CEO there. As part of our story-telling culture, she shared a heart-searing account of the power our presence can have on the faintest of voices – a voice so soft it seemed to come from the quietest corner of a darkened room:

"On one particular evening, I walked by a patient's room in the Critical Care Unit and noticed a woman lying very still as tubes flowed into her and a monitor beeped a faint but steady reminder to "hold on." Although she didn't seem to hear, I chatted with her for a moment then quietly left the room with a wave.

"For fifteen straight nights I stopped by Ms. Lewis's room to say hello. She never moved or opened her eyes in response.

"On the sixteenth evening, I was in a bit of a hurry, so I waved a quick "Hello, Ms. Lewis" as I sped past the door, only to hear a faint "Hello" drift from the room. I rapidly retraced my steps and found myself looking into a smiling pair of blue eyes. Ms. Lewis reached for my hand and said in a whisper, "I waited for you every evening to stop in my room and talk to me. It made the nights bearable. Thank you, young lady."

How many times have we unintentionally ignored patients in the mistaken belief that our presence doesn't matter? When we do speak, how often have we spoken to the elderly as if they were tiny children? How often have we assumed our reassurance means nothing to an apparently unconscious patient.

The value of speaking to these fellow beings is not only for their potential benefit. So long as we are present to the weakest among us, we honor their humanity and this affects our overall treatment of the person.

The Recovery Room nurse who chats with her unconscious patients is far more likely to treat them well than if she views them as inanimate objects. Sadly, I have actually heard both doctors and O.R. nurses say (within the subconscious hearing of anesthetized patients) things like, "Okay, send in another side of beef." Or, "Bring in the next victim."

This effort to remind us of the best way to treat the apparrently comatose is not meant to chastize those who forget. It is to signal that Radical Loving Care calls us to honor all patients, not just the ones who can communicate in ways to which we are accustomed.

Is it not the patients with the faintest voices (or no voice at all) who most need our Loving presence?

-Reverend Erie Chapman

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8 responses to “Days 73-75 – Honoring The Faintest Voice”

Marily

March 14, 2011

Thank you Rev. Erie for gentle reminders. Surely we can make a difference through our loving presence even when we least expect, however it may come back… it leaves treasures in our hearts for heaven.

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Victoria Facey

March 14, 2011

We often mean well, but sometimes are generic in our greeting and approach to those with either small or no voices. How beautiful this story is to learn that one small voice was able to respond to the caring nurse. I believe our presence does matter, even if the connection doesn’t immediately appear. Often during the busiest of days, I run into a pleasant co-worker and during the quick, simultanous exchange of “Hi, how are you”, our words cancel each other’s responses out. Then, later on, I recall their greeting.
Here’s to leaning in to hear the faintest voice…

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liz

March 14, 2011

The encounter shared is a poignant yet a tender story that brings home how much a caring gesture means. A little kindness means the world to most of us. I have truly been experiencing the meaning of hospitality. Although I may not live in Ireland I hope to carry this generosity of spirit with me all the days of my life.

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Karen York

March 15, 2011

The silent among us are far too often ignored. So goes the adage…”the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. When my twins were babies, one had colic and one was quiet. I remember intentionally praying that I would not slight the “quiet one” for the one who cried more. They both needed to be held and loved. It was not an easy time, nor is it easy for caregivers to stay in the presence of the comatose while another patient is demanding attention. Blessings to all of us as we tend to the shouts and the whispers around us. More important, let us tend to the whispers of our own soul that are often completely neglected.

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ann kaiser

March 15, 2011

While serving the homeless last night, one quiet man came in, went through the sign in without talking to anyone. With head down he silently went to his mat and sat , not taking food or drink. With concern , I asked the workers about him. The response I got was ” Oh, that is just Charlie,he is a loner, when he is hungry, he will get his food”. So I waited. A voice inside me would not be queit. Charlie did not come forward. I went to him and asked if he wanted food. He shook his head no. So I bent down on my knees to look his eyes and asked him again. With the softest voice he responded with a ” yes, but my legs hurt”. I quickly got up and brought him a plate of food. The little smile he gave me was the best present . Let’s always listen to our inner voice and to the faintest of voices that surround us everyday.

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Margot Phillips

March 16, 2011

This is the perfect message for me today. As I cared for my patients today, I lost my patience! It has rained hard all day, and the roads were scary, and I had some challanging interactions with a couple of patients. Plus I am quite concerned about the disaster in Japan and the very real possibility that we may have a bad quake here. Then, on my last stop of the day was at the home of a woman who is bedbound, doesn’t speak very much and is has severe contractures. Her caregiver was very rude to me, and I snapped at her, I put on my coat and said that I could leave and come back later in the week, if she didn’t want me there. She calmed down a bit, and so did I. And suddenly I realized that my patient was alert and noticing our rather heated exhange. I went up to her and apologized for being crabby, and her eyes lit up and she smiled. There was such warmth and understaning flowing out of this woman, and my heart melted and I gave her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled again, and we continued the visit.
There was that small voice that wasn’t even vocal,just her shift in energy helped me to come out of my own story and remember why I am doing this; to love, serve and remember that we are all One in Spirit.
Sleep well Elaine,
Margot

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xavier espinosa

March 16, 2011

During a series of employee engagement sessions I was asked to conduct, we asked the question:”What do you do at work?” When we asked the English speaking employees, the answers were “I’m Frank- I’m a nurse and I give medication” “I’m June I’m a tech and I take x-rays” after the participants had exhausted the job descriptions, eventually someone would come to the gist of the exercise and say “I’m Mary, a nurse and I give hope” When we facilitated a group of Spanish speaking employees the first person who spoke said- “I’m Maria, I work in housekeeping in the ICU. When I walk into a patient’s room and see them on the ventilator, I know there is very little I can do for them. I can’t give them medication for pain, I can’t suction them, I can’t touch them. But what I can do is sing. So as I am mopping I sing to them. I sing until I leave the room. And most times when I enter the room and the patient is awake, they will signal to me with their hands so I can sing them again. And I do” In the celebration that is the healing, we should never doubt what our coworkers bring to the party/ If they are welcomed- it is always good.

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erie chapman

March 17, 2011

Thank you for all the wonderful comments everyone has offered. Xavier, I may use your story as a basis for a future post. Thank you once again to all of you for sharing your comments and stories with our audience of caregivers.

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