Journal of Sacred Work

"You shall love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." – Matthew 5:44

   Do we choose light or enter the door of darkness?

   Over the past few mornings, a strange sight has appeared on White Bridge Road, a busy street in Nashville. A woman sits on a stool supporting a giant sign that reads, "Shame on Molly M…."   

   To protect herself from the ninety-degree heat, the woman has erected two umbrellas to block the sun. A water bottle sits nearby.

   Revenge is hard work. I wonder who is suffering more, "Molly M." or the woman who hates her?

   "Molly" is the kind of enemy I've always thought Jesus was telling us to love. He meant our foes, not ourselves, didn't he?  

   But what about the enemies within us? I've got a crowd of people who've wronged me and I lug them around with me every day.  
       

   Fo me to live Jesus' teaching, I need to actually remind myself that all my enemies are within. They live in my perception.

   My worst enemy happens to be myself. I can't shake those voices that shovel hot coals onto my spirit just as I'm starting to have fun.

   Why do images of the world's hungry appear when I am served a great dinner at a nice restaurant? Why do those who live in hovels or prisons march before me just as I enter my lovely home to rest?

   Of course, we all need a conscience. But, bright people know how to see the million nuances that live inside every choice.

   We're all geniuses at rationalizations. They drive me every day into justifying what sometimes seem like bad decisions. Maybe my rationalizing blocks me from recognizing that I'm making the best decisions I can and need to take responsibility without incurring the double bind of shame.

     Perhaps it's time to come to terms with these dragons. But, absent an attack of amnesia, how will I drive them from my mind?   How can I change the story I tell myself about these enemies within?

     I don't know why the woman by the road hates Molly. It would be no wiser for me to question her motives than it is for her to pass judgment. But, I suspect she will gain no better satisfaction by detesting her enemy than I have had in hating mine.

   Insofar as I hate my enemy, I am hating myself.

   Do we differ from the woman by the road? Does our anger, like hers, cause us to miss the pleasant scenes of life?   

   Perhaps, this is the gift hidden in Jesus' message. When we make the hard choice to love our enemies – within and without, we find ourselves freed from the terrible weight of fear. 

   Once the stone of hatred is wheeled away, the light of Love can finally rush in to illuminate our shadowed hearts and bring peace. 

-Reverend Erie Chapman

Photographs copyright Erie Chapman 2011