Note: This reflection is dedicated to one of the greatest
caregiver’s I have ever known, Peter
Strand and is in loving memory of his precious, dear wife, Colleen.
When serious illness strikes a member of the family
everyone’s life is thrown off balance. Suddenly,
without warning, daily life has been disrupted and sometimes irrevocably altered.
Encounters between a person who is seeking medical care and
healthcare providers are very brief. Patients
and their family members are often left stunned when notified that they are being discharged so quickly from
the hospital. Frequently, they feel ill prepared to cope with the challenges of caring for their
loved one at home.
As the nurse arrives she (or he) knocks on the door and takes a deep breath while waiting for someone
to answer who will hopefully, invite her in. As she crosses the threshold, first impressions
matter. To be successful one must instill a sense of confidence and be
perceived as capable, caring and trustworthy.
The immediate task at hand is to peel the family off the ceiling (their anxiety so intensely aroused) with the assurance that, we are here to help you. Together we can do
this, I will help you learn how, we will come as often as
necessary for you to feel more comfortable; we will not abandon you. In the
homecare setting, family members must learn how to administer IV therapy, care
for incisions, tracheostomies, wounds, catheters, ostomies, feeding tubes and
many things they never thought possible.
For those of us who have embraced the sacred trust of caring
for people in need, we understand that it is the family members who are real
caregivers. They are our heroes. We
recognize that the family members are living their loved one’s illness too. In
healthcare, we only encounter the ill person/family for only a short time. We just
experience little episodes of care in the trajectory of their lives.
Usually, it is a family member who provides care 24/7 with
very little respite offered in our current healthcare model. Assistance with the
basic activities of daily living and respite care for family members is desperately
needed but not funded in our current healthcare system. Yet, I believe, this low
tech affordable intervention holds the greatest promise for reducing unnecessary
re-hospitalizations.
As a nurse, in the
unique field of home health for most of my 35 year career, I must say it is the patients
and families who inspire me. They have taught me. I have had the privilege of being welcomed
into their lives during difficult times. I have bared witness to incredible
courage and fortitude in the face of adversity. They have shown me what it
means to give of one self for the good of another. These are the encounters
that awaken us to life’s poignancy and brilliance.
Surely we have an obligation to provide competent care. We
receive education and learn skills to do our work proficiently. Once these skills and
competencies are mastered a caregiver can begin the journey beyond tasks into the realm of true healing.
Faced with the
isolation and pain of illness, a person can feel invisible. When we meet a person where they are,
something happens. The energy shifts as an
opening forms for Light to enter in.
The greatest gift we can offer is our authentic selves. To give our full presence with a loving intention. It is in these moments that we experience healing,
not only for the person in need but for the person who shows up for them. Both
are changed by the encounter, both experience healing.
This is the hidden gift and Beauty in care giving.
Watercolor image, created by ~liz
Journal of Sacred Work 
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