Note: Reflection by Liz Sorensen Wessel
A friend recently shared this wisdom, “It is so difficult to keep expectations at some kind of reasonable level (the lower the better?)” I find this sage advice so helpful. For I can easily fall into the trap of having high expectations with people and situations. Perhaps, I am really excited about an upcoming event, oh the anticipation! However, as I recall times that I've have not had any expectations, I've often been pleasantly surprised, "Wow, I wasn't expecting that!" This is why I prefer going to a movie without knowing anything about the story in advance.
Expectations, either positive or negative, can set us up for disappointment. I think this might even fall into the realm of self-sabotage. I guess this is what a Zen master might describe as “attachment.” An alternative is to loosen one’s grip and go with the flow. I have some spontaneous friends who are really good at this but me, not so much. I guess it comes down to wanting to feel secure with some semblance of control in life. (Good luck with that one, ha!)
This week I have been enjoying a visit with my son and three grandchildren. Each day we go on outings; the park, beach, zoo, pony rides, aquarium, you get the picture. What is interesting is how a peak fun experience can suddenly crash for a child (or let’s be real, adults too!) Wow, body boarding was fantastic but the sand in the bathing trunks was a big irritant (no pun intended :). The pizza idea was great but why did they have to ruin it with those big chunks of tomatoes, blah!
I found myself thinking philosophically that life really is “both, and." How unrealistic to think in Goldie Locks terms of wanting everything to be “just right” before we can welcome our experience. The combining of opposites makes up the whole of life. We see this in nature, a great teacher who bequeaths us with night and day; male and female, warmth of sun and shimmering moonlight, light and shadow, youth and aged, life and death. How can we have one without the other?
I was tempted to share these thoughts with my grandchildren but decided instead to keep them to myself, as there seemed no point of trying to impart understanding to an overtired, cranky child.
Think about this day. Conceivably 99 things went exceedingly well but maybe there was one situation that caught you off guard leaving you upset, anxious or distressed. When someone asks about our day, it's funny how we forget the good and focus on that one vexation. Yet, just noticing this (with a touch of compassion) can cultivate a greater appreciation for life and welcoming in the both, and…
Liz Sorensen Wessel
Journal of Sacred Work 
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