Journal of Sacred Work

 It happened seven decades ago & is as clear as yesterday. A new boy moved into the neighborhood. He was my age (4) & even resembled me. 

   "Hi, I'm Chip. Who are you?" I said cheerfully. No response. Was he deaf? I shouted another welcome.

   My father appeared. "Chip, Ole is Swedish. Shouting won't help. He doesn't speak our language."

   How many times do we speak an idea to a confused face & repeat it until we belatedly discover that the other person either does not understand or does not agree?

   As we all know, different circumstances require different communication. But, sometimes we forget. 

   Patients are people in crisis. They hear differently. 

   Cancer patients trapped in angst (as well as bed) appear the same. Yet, anxiety can scramble English into a foreign tongue. Repeated studies demonstrate that sudden bad news traumatizes people into confusion. When a doctor says, "You have cancer" you may not "hear" the next sentences.

   We first learn language by hearing others speak. Radical Loving Care calls us to sacred listening – for caregivers to learn the language of the traumatized  before we speak of treatments.

   If shouting to a deaf person is foolish then droning instructions to a terrified adult is caregiver malpractice. 

   Healing begins with listening. 

-Erie Chapman

Top: Ole (at left) – 4th Birthday. (Clown suit still seems appropriate.) 

Bottom: "Pals" (Ole at left) As you can see we became good friends. Incidentally, his father was a famous director (Ship of Fools.) A fellow Swede, the legendary Ingrid Bergman, often visited them.