Journal of Sacred Work

Note: Special guest reflection offered by Terry Chapman: I’m sure you’ve seen the short video that urges you, at the time of an airplane oxygen problem, to put on your mask first—then help your child or other needy person.  This makes good sense, since to help the other you must first help yourself! I call this enlightened caregiving.

Caregiving creates heavy stress for the caregiver.  When you push yourself to continue on, you will deplete your emotional and physical reserves and fail to help those who depend on you.  But what should you do?  Take good care of yourself always. Help yourself first!

Are you, the caregiver, in good mental and physical health?  Do you watch your diet and exercise regularly?  Do you plan quiet time to rekindle your spirits and psyche?  Are your social needs being met?  Do you have those to help meet your needs on a regular basis?  If your answer is no to any of these questions, you are in danger of failing in your caregiving.

My brother Ronnie who was deaf, autistic, and unable to speak lived in sheltered living and I paid him many visits each year, driving from Worcester, MA to Maryland.  I discovered that if I stayed over an hour with Ronnie, my ability to connect with him failed. His constant requests to explain the meaning of Popular Mechanics machine pictures in a stack of magazines I brought him each time, exhausted me and interfered with us having a good visit. Shortening the time, we spent together, resulted in more pleasure for both of us.  Do you plan time limits to your caregiving visits or activities? Taking good care of yourself is the first step to enlightened caregiving that will help your loved ones and you!

-Terry Chapman