Life enriching, non-violent or compassionate communication is based on the teachings of the late Marshall Rosenberg PhD. As the founder of the Center for Non-violent Communication, Rosenberg dedicated his life to fostering peace world-wide. Human beings have a natural capacity for compassion and empathy but we may choose hurtful behaviors when we are not aware of more effective strategies. NVC is taught as a process of interpersonal communication designed to improve compassionate connection with others. To communicate with compassion is to contribute to the success and happiness of everyone, at work and at home; on a more conscious level.
Author Louise Evans inspired by the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg provides communication training in workplaces all around the globe. I think you will find her Ted Talk an invaluable and enlightening experience. She offers a very practical approach to enhancing compassionate communication.
I compiled this summary of her video teachings
Red Chair: THE JACKEL
“The more we judge people the less time we have to love them.”
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ATTACK · Judge · Reactive · Jump to conclusions · The I’m right game · Punish |
· Blame · Complain · Gossip · Highest level of misbehavior · Notice what is wrong vs what is right or to love people |
The Yellow Chair: THE HEDGE HOG
“The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging.”Krishnamurti
SELF-DOUBT
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· Self-judgment · Negative self-talk · Victim |
· Fear of rejection · Fear of failure · Worries |
Green Chair: MEACAT
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the only way…it does not exist.” Fredrich Nietzche
WAIT
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· Very aware · Curious · Observe |
· Hold your horses · Relax · Interested |
Blue Chair: THE DOLPHIN
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle
DETECT
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· Self-aware · Self-care · Speak our truth · State my intention · Create boundaries · Playful |
· Our very best · Grow · Assertive but not aggressive · Self-Empowerment · Intelligent · What is most important to me?
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Purple Chair: THE GIRAFFE
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Abraham Lincoln
CONNECT
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· Has the biggest heart, · Incredible vision · Place egos on the back burner · Stepping into someone else’s shoes · Embrace other realities and embrace diversity · Ego is on the back burner |
· What is important in front of he/she/ the person in front of me · Empathy, · Compassion, · Understanding · Art of listening to truly understand · Embrace diversity, tolerance |
Everything can be taken from man but one thing. The last of human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Viktor Frankl
Louise Evans instructive presentation is a call to action as she informs and asks us how we can integrate these skills into our daily life:
How to translate these behaviors into everyday life:
The challenge every day is how to find balance between where we are sitting at any moment and how we listen to people and how we care for them.
Stepping into someone else’s shoe s and really listening is a great gift of generosity.
We need to become open, rationale, intelligent, thoughtful.
When someone presses our red button and we want to argue or snap at someone; just think we have five choices.
We are making choices about the behaviors that we bring in to this world, and the choices we make have a direct impact on the conversations that we have, our relationships that we form and the quality of our lives in general
What can we do on a practical level to be more aware?
We produce some of our most questionable or sometimes toxic behaviors. The idea of the five chairs is to help us slowdown in every moment of our lives and to analyze what is going on with our behavior.
Can we find the courage to apologize and say, ‘I am sorry?”
Can we all commit to making our homes, work places and our world better one behavior at a ti
Complied & Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel
Journal of Sacred Work 
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