Journal of Sacred Work

What is a father? What stands out about what good fathers do? For me, my father is the exemplar for fathering:  he demonstrated his love for me, my brother, and our mother, by what he said and what he did! His gave us endless encouragement and his sense of humor softened our toughest blows.  His steady hand kept us focusing on positive goals regardless of life’s difficult and reoccurring challenges.  He combined steadiness from his Midwestern ancestors with strong common sense; he was a problem solver.  Caring deeply what happened to all of us, he reacted in a calm and reassuring manner.

Even when my emotional mother suffered mental illness from the strain of raising a deaf son, his strength never wavered but stayed constant! My brother Ronnie, who also had autism, never learned to speak or communicate except for the basic signing of everyday living including, “eat”, “drive”, “movie”, “after a while” There was one more sign of great importance in our family: “OK” signed by one hand “sliding across the palm of the other hand. We frequently asked Ronnie if he was “OK” and then responded to help him if needed. When mother and I tired of signing, he patiently signed to Ronnie what the magazine pictures meant.

All caregivers can tap these behaviors and attributes in caregiving situations.  Fathering knows no gender; rather it is a way of shepherding those we love as a shepherd steadily tends his flock!  

Written By Terry Chapman PhD
Artist Unknown, Internet Image