Journal of Sacred Work

“I remember walking up the stairs to the kitchen and I wanted to walk right out the door but I was working. I knew what I had to do but I felt alone and unsure of the words I would have to use with the doctor, mortuary, and coroner’s office while to family listened to my every word.

As I sat with the family, they all began to reminisce about “mom”, they laughed and cried and so did I. By this time, the mortuary had arrived and was ready to take the body away. I waited in the garage with him and rubbed his back with one hand and held his hand with the other while one of his daughters wiped away tears. I told him again I was sorry for his loss, and again hugged him until he was ready to let go of me. He smiled and told me, ‘Thank you, you have been a great help to me and my kids.

That is why I do hospice nursing. I want to make a difference in someone’s life when it has been turned upside down and inside out. As I drove away, I felt I had become the most blessed person to have been there during their greatest time of need.”

"We do make a difference. One heart and one life at a time. We seek to remember that blessing comes in meeting the authentic call of the moment with greater compassion. There are always inner voices that focus on what is wrong in ourselves, in others, and in our world. There are always opportunities to act unkindly. But each moment offers us the opportunity to step into our freedom with greater awareness. The Way of One is a way of deep compassion, healing, and forgiveness. It's a choice we are challenged to make again and again."

~Rabbi Ted Falcon

Often nurses are so busy that they have little time to reflect on their experiences, and this can lead to a buildup of unresolved grief overtime. The act of pausing to reflect on one’s experience allows for increasing awareness, processing one's emotions, integrating learning and finding meaning in the encounter. Personally, I have found journalling is one way of making sense of my experiences,it allows for expression of feelings, and can aid in healing and in finding closure.  

Note: This is the 2nd. in a series of nurses' narratives from my 2004 thesis about nurse experiences caring for people in the last stage of life. 

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Liz Sorensen Wessel 
Artwork by ~liz