Children need models more than they need critics. – Joseph Joubert, Pensées
Our instinct to try and correct the behavior of others through criticism begins at an early age. We hear it from our parents, then nursery school teachers, and so on until we become critics ourselves, sometimes seeking to control the behavior of others through detailed instructions.
Criticism is a way of asserting power over others. We reason that our small children need to learn not to touch hot things and to learn good manners. The challenge is to teach them this information and behavior style without belittling others when they err.
Interestingly, it is self esteem that children need most. The same is true with adults. We need affirmation and sincere encouragement in order to develop the confidence to make wise decisions on our own.
Positive example is the guideline that is most important in loving leadership. When fellow staff see us both acting out of love and then trusting others to do the same, there is the best chance of creating an environment where excellence and Love will thrive.
The goal of loving leadership is to create an environment where both tradition and change can flourish simultaneously. As President-elect Obama said in a speech in February of 2008, "Change will not come if we wait for some
other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting
for. We are the change that we seek."
In this fresh new year, we can be the change we seek. In so doing, we can set a model of Love for others. As Joubert, quoted above, also wrote, "to teach is to learn twice." May this be a guide to helping others teach us, thus allowing them to "learn twice."
What do you think? How do you serve as a model and how to others model Love for you?
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
Leave a comment